The last couple of days, or more like week have I been really annoyed and felt like being alone the entire time. But at the same time I want to have some company. I don't know really. And what bothers me the most is that I don't know why I am feeling this way. I feel like punching someone in the face, don't like anyone and every little thing makes me burn inside. I am very afraid, and I feel like I'm going down a path I don't want to go by again.

I am in a state of mind where I just want to cover myself up in paint and do nothing else or write some absurd poems and lyrics. Make weird noises and call it music.

The thing is that I know exactly why I am like this. I feel lonely, but not in a bad way. I feel lost. Still not in a bad way. I feel like someone needs to understand me, or is it just me being stupid? What I think it might be is kind of personal and I will therefore not write it here. I miss before. When everything was so perfect. Now, lately I've found defaults in myself I never noticed before. And I know they've always been there. And I thought I was mature for my age, or extremely talented and had a special way of thinking and an extraordinary way of look at things. But knowing that I'm not anything of this things and the worst part, knowing that I used to think like this makes me want to laugh at myself. Really stupid, isn't it?


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Grethe Marita

Grethe Marita

20, Larvik

I am relaxed and full of life. I do exactly what I want and I never got plans, but at the same time, I'm always full booked. I have good friends who looks after me, and I try the best I can to do the same! These good friends are the reason that anything happens in my life, and other things than than it's fashion, art, literature and music that interest me and the topics I often blog about. I use the blog as a diary, it's kind of a therapy, and a way to empty my head and fill it up again with good ideas from the Internet. At the moment I'm living in Kingston, London and studying psychology and criminology. And I love it!