FEELING AND BEEING
Is my life really this lame? Second night in a row on a weekend, and I'm sitting here in my room. All by myself. Doing nothing. Well, because of the lack of things to do I'm now done with all the seasons of how I met your mother. And now I'mwatcing Star Wars, for the first time in my life. I have no life. Litteraly. Except from watching a lot of series and random movies I'm going to the gym. I know that is good for me, but it would be nice once in a while to go with someone.
So, my wonderfull life so far in the big UK. I thought it was going to be the best time of my life. Well, yeah. All those good times, i'm really glad for all that. And no, I didn't expect every single day to be off the hook. And not to speak about the people I've met, I'm so glad I've met them. But still. I didn't expect a lot of weekends to be so lonely. And for a person with fear of staying too long by herself, understand me right, I enjoy my own company, but I need to know that there are some people there at all time I just can talk to whenever. I know a lot of people would say, hey! You know you can call me. But I don't like to cry in front of people, and I don't like people to know that I can cry. As stupid as it sounds, that's exacly how I feel.
I just feel really alone right now, and there is really nothing I can do. I feel to awkward to go to people I haven't hung out with without other people, and also tryed but not reached.
With my exiting life I might as well start to play world of warcraft. Or maybe I should just do nothing, as I'm already doing.
So. I don't know why I'm arguing in my head! I don't know what to do!! I just really don't like feeling alone. That's the thing. being alone and feeling alone is two different things.