I started to write a rondom post, about my plans for the day, then I just left it for a while and my music made me feel a bit, blue, if you want. But not in a really bad way, but more artistic way. I suddently got an urge to write in Norwegian, and then Sapnnish, and then I forgot that I kept writing in English and so many thoughts crossed my mind. Thoughts about yesterday, about this morning, about last night, about the walk home, about my feelings, about me being afraid, about feeling beautiful, feeling ugly, about thinking bad thoughts, about doing bad stuff, about everything really. Everything that has something to do with it.
I moved in here 13th of September 2011. That day I had so many expectations that in the end I didn't have any expectations. I had plans for how everything would work, for the friends I would make, I did not only make really good friends, but best friends, something I did not expect. Moving here also caused a lot of pain, some things get lost and you find something else that will probably not mean as much, yet. You might as well be really lucky and find something that will mean the whole world for you, but some peopl would maybe find the same thing but it would drag them down. People just don't understand how hard it can be, to be in that place, when they are just watching. Some people just make the same mistake everytime even you get a new chance. Trust.
I know I'm writing a lot of nonsence now, but when I look out the window and watch the sun on the rooftops, it makes me really happy, but I'm in a mood where I just feel like crying. I know all girls have this feeling sometimes, don't know bout guys.
I've had this feeling for weeks, months now. Steping into something new, not knowing what to expect, but I can say with my hand on my heart that I don't regret anything, but at the same time, everything. Maybe I wasn't ready for this? Or maybe I just have too many hopes and dreams, and I am the only one standing in my way. But I know that it's more than that.
back to the first part where I was thinking about things, I think a lot, and I want to feel good today, not only I don't know... I kind of need more.
All Picture: We<3it.com